IPL Pop Quiz: The Mongoose Edition

HAVE you been noticing all things IPL lately (come on now, don’t lie!) including cricketing equipment named after animals and commentator IQ levels dropping faster than catches through KKR fielders’ hands? Great, because it is time for the third IPL Pop Quiz of 2010. Get your pencils out because, as you know, the only thing I find more annoying than overvalued cricket franchises is lack of preparation for a quiz. To the questions!

1. Pick out the real statements from the ones below
A. ShashiTharoor: @lalitkmodi buddy, one more smart one and u r blocked. ok?
B. ‘I am only being hypocritical about being arrogant. Oh, wait…I think I’m arrogant about being a hypocrite’ – Gautam Gambhir
C. “People in Chennai just love me. In the first edition when I used to go out biking at night whenever I used to stop in Red Light Areas, they always used to come up to me” – M S Dhoni

2. KKR look like they are doomed to remain the only team in three IPLs not to have made the semis. That would make them feel like
A. The shopper who always misses the juiciest bargains because he was lazy
B. The college kid who’s still remained a virgin while his friends have had plenty of ‘action’
C. The girl who gets picked last at a dance party
D. A kid at a candy store where he’s been left all alone with all the candy under lock and key

3. The most annoying feature of the IPL’s coverage on television
A. Frequent visuals and references to the gaudy MRF Blimp…
B. …which looks like a poor, uneducated country cousin of the Goodyear Blimp…
C. …wherein we should pack in Ravi Shastri, Danny Morrison and co…
D. …and cut the blimp loose!

4. Complete this quote from Sourav Ganguly – “The entire world is watching, the selectors are watching... if they play like this, _____ help their careers”
A. SRK
B. John Buchanan
C. Greg Chappell
D. God

5. What distinction do Virat Kohli and Rohit Sharma share?
A. Both are young, talented and aggressive batsmen while being very agile fielders as well.
B. Both have had the dubious privilege of saying ‘s**t’ on live national television

6. Chris Gayle joined the KKR squad on Saturday, the 20th of March 2010 at Ahmedabad in their game against the Rajasthan Royals. But he did not play that game because
A. The airline lost his luggage and His Coolness found that to be ‘not cool’
B. He had fever
C. Actually, he had Saturday Night Fever

7. Keeping the Kings XI Punjab’s dismal show at IPL 3 and Preity Zinta’s shareholding pattern in the franchise draft a 200 word explanation as to why KXIP is the new KKR.

Answers:
1. C. Don’t believe me? Check it out here!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6c09piYEN0&feature=player_embedded
2. B. Seriously, KKR needs to get its mojo back, i.e. if they had any in the first place!
3. C and D; and once you put Shastri & Co. inside the blimp it will fly off faster since there will be a lot more hot air inside!
4. D
5. Fortunately, A and (very) unfortunately B
6. With Chris, maaan…it gotta be C!
7. Anything that includes references to PZ’s tweeting and her team being a disjointed squad of misfits is acceptable