THE HAND OF GOD PART II

THREE
At 7 PM the match kicked off at the magnificent Olympic Stadium in Munich. The crowd roared in anticipation of an epic encounter. Juan kissed the cross that hung around his neck and took his position.’ This is it’, he told himself and concentrated hard. He could hear the ref blow the whistle as things got under way, but the only thing he was eyeing sharply was the Zeitgeist ball crossing over from one foot to another in a blur.
The first half went fairly event free for Juan which made him feel very happy. There were no hard saves to make thanks to the defenders doing their job well. The only scare had come in the closing minute of the half when Chriser had found himself free on the left edge of the penalty area from a brilliant through ball from Michael Owen. But his powerful shot went wide of goal and Juan heaved a sigh of relief. Juan could have sworn he had heard a cry of 'Stupid striker! Too nervous!' as the ball went past him.
'Could it have been the ball?’ Juan quickly dismissed the thought as he made his way to the dressing room with his teammates. ‘Surely it was one of those English fans’, he thought having known how harsh fans can be on their own players. To be fair to Owen, he had a tough angle and the ball hit the outside part of his foot.
By the second half, Juan’s nerves had calmed down. He was handling the England attacks better and made two good saves off Owen and Chriser, which doubtless gave him renewed confidence. But at the 88th minute with two minutes to go in the game and an increasing prospect of a 0-0 draw (just what Spain needed) Spanish defender Robert Artez fouled England midfielder Gary Brenham. The referee yellow carded Artez and awarded England a free kick just on the left edge of the penalty area and the man who stepped up to take it would have sent a shiver down any goal keepers spine, let alone Juan. It was David Beckham whose swinging, curling and deadly accurate kicks became famous as 'The Beckham Delivery'. Juan knew that if he let this one go in Spain would have no chance with only a minute left. He positioned himself on the right goal post hoping the defensive wall would guard the left post.
With every second passing like an eternity Juan waited, almost breathless, as Beckham stepped up and kicked. The ball swooshed towards the right post over the wall, but then began to curl away wickedly from where Juan was standing. Juan knew it was not possible to get it now. In a desperate last minute attempt he leapt towards the direction of the ball and screamed out, ‘Come towards me you idiot!’ He was trying to control the ball by talking to it! Even he did not know what had made him do this. But to his shock, the ball seemed to be swerving away less and less. He stretched out his hand and made a lunge at it. ‘Come on!’ he shouted and the ball made a dramatic back spin towards him. He managed to get his fingertips to it and the ball sailed over the bar. ‘Ouch' he heard as the ball flew over. ‘It cannot be the ball again!’ he thought.

FOUR
Beckham stood stunned at the save. The TV commentator for BBC1 could hardly contain his astonishment.’ And what an extraordinary save by young Ferreto. Surely one of the best since Gordon Banks' outstanding save to deny the great Pele in 1970. And definitely the save of the 21st century.' [Gordon Banks’ save is featured in this YouTube Video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQA234KPA2s]
Juan could hardly believe it. Was it just plain luck or had he really managed to control the ball by talking to it? It sounded insane to him. The game was over soon afterwards in a 0-0 draw. Juan could hardly contain his joy at the final whistle as he and his teammates celebrated. They had made it to the next round and would avoid Brazil. The match ball was presented to Juan as a token of his heroic performance. For a young goal keeper there couldn’t be a better feeling.
That night, the whole team partied in the hotel and the coach brought more good news. 'Michel will be fit for the next round'. Every one cheered. Juan too felt relaxed at the thought that no more nerve wreckers were in store for him. But he felt a tinge of disappointment too because he was beginning to like it.
Later that night as Juan lay on his bed in the hotel room he watched the replays of the save being showed on TV. Every time he was amazed at the fact as to how the balls perfect arc was interrupted when he yelled at it and it turned towards him. The commentators said it was perhaps the wind but Juan knew fully well that the air was very still at that time. At last he decided to get some sleep after the extraordinary day. But as he switched the TV off he heard a voice in the cupboard,
'That kid is good. He deserves more chances.'
Juan felt like fainting. The voice was coming from the cupboard where he had kept his match ball along with his kit!

EPILOGUE
Juan was replaced by Michel in the next match which Spain won but in the quarter finals they lost to Netherlands on penalties. But Juan’s save was discussed throughout the tournament. Juan never tried the trick of yelling at balls again although he did hear odd voices when he was practicing alone. But he never told anyone this secret. He was reading the newspaper after practice one day and was surprised to see the following line in an article on him by Josh Clarevill, a British football analyst, just after the world cup:
'The save against England was easily a masterpiece. It appeared as if this boy could control the ball on a string like a puppet.'
‘Yeah, I can’ thought Juan. And he really could. But for the rest of his life he decided he was going to play by his natural abilities and not his supernatural ones. 'That’s the spirit!', came the footballs voice lying nearby his feet.

P.S. Juan currently plays for Real Madrid and Spain. Footballs still talk to him but he's never tried to control ball paths ever since 2006.

THE HAND OF GOD - PART I

NOW that the IPL madness is over, and the real IPL madness has begun, I.'ve decided to switch off and concentrate on the World Cup that's coming our way. Not the Twenty20 World Cup silly! The FIFA World Cup to be held in South Africa from June. My blogging has a sentimental connection to the soccer World Cup since I started Get Sporty during the 2006 edition in Germany. So, to begin Get Sporty's coverage of the 2010 World Cup, I have unearthed something interesting. A short story (sort of) I had penned in 2002 about the 2006 World Cup! So, dear readers, I present to you 'The Hand of God'. Hope you enjoy this little digression into fantasy land once from Get Sporty. And remember, like the IPL, all characters and situations are pretty much fictional and any resemblance to any place or person in completely coincidental and unintentional and mostly a result of misplaced financial documents. Sorry, my bad! ;)

So, here goes...Enjoy Part I...and don't forget to beg for Part II...muahahahaha

PROLOGUE
It is the year 2006.The world cup soccer tournament is on in Germany and Spain are about to face England in an important clash.

ONE
'So all we need tomorrow is a draw against England and we top the group’ said Alberto Mendoza the coach of the Spanish national soccer team, as he summarised the tactics for his team at the last practice session before the match against England. The team responded with a 'you got it coach!’. The coach then turned to the young goalkeeper who would be representing Spain tomorrow. ‘Look Juan, it is just plain bad luck that Michel got injured in the last game against Ukraine’, he said,’ and now you have to take up the responsibility. I have total faith in your abilities my boy and I am sure you will come good.'
Juan Carlos Ferreto, the tall but wiry 18 year old boy who was the standby keeper to Michel Delgado could only blurt out a muffled 'Yes'. It was true he was talented but at that young age with such a big match coming up, he was sure even the great Pele would have felt funny in the stomach.
'That will be all’, said Mendonza. The team slowly dispersed across the training ground and began to pack up their kits. Some of them shouted to Juan, 'Good luck!' as they left towards the hotel. But that hardly relieved Juan’s tensions.
Juan was the only person left on the ground 10 minutes later. But he was too engrossed contemplating tomorrow’s possibilities -sitting on the bench near the goal post- to have noticed it.
'Hey, you there!', Juan was suddenly shaken out of his thoughts by someone calling him. He spun around but could not see anybody, not even any maintenance staff on the ground. But he was sure he had heard somebody. Or was he imagining things?
His question was soon answered as he looked down at the football lying near the bench he was sitting on. 'Yeah it’s me’, the ball called out, the sound coming out with no movement of the ball.
Juan could not believe it. A football was talking to him! Surely this big match pressure had cracked his head open. Dazed, he timidly asked in slightly broken English 'Er…you talking to me?'
'Hey!’ the ball screamed back, ‘don’t get all Robert DeNiro on me pal! What did you think? The goal post was talking to you?' Poor Juan who had never seen an English film, let alone De Niro’s performance in ‘Taxi Driver’ and his famed ‘You talking to me?’ continued, oblivious to the pop culture wisecrack from the soccer ball. 'But...er...erm..How can you...I mean you know...talk?' he asked in Spanish.
The ball effortlessly changed the language too. 'How can you talk? How silly! Don’t you know all soccer balls can talk? You just don’t hear them always because nobody concentrates hard on a ball.'
'But then how am I hearing you now if I haven’t heard any ball talking for my whole life?' said Juan as he thought ‘For a soccer ball, this fella speaks fluent Spanish.’
'Because you were looking at me for the last half an hour. So I decided to talk to you. You look distressed. Need any help?’ the ball said and added,’ and besides I like your hair’. Juan almost blushed before getting a hold of himself.
Juan realised that he had indeed been looking at the ball lost in thought about tomorrow’s match. Slowly accepting the fact that he was indeed talking to an inanimate ball Juan gathered himself and decided to strike a conversation with the ball.
'So how is it like being a football?'
'Don’t ask! Getting kicked around all day is no fun! But yes its fun being kissed by the striker after a goal. But that happens if you are a match ball. Not a practice one like me. Oh! How I wish I were a match ball’. There was a clear note of melancholy in the voice as the ball said this.
'So can I talk to any soccer ball?'
'Yes as long as you concentrate hard on it. You can even make it obey your orders. But for that the concentration must be immense and you should not break eye contact.'
'Oh I see’, said Juan trying hard not to laugh.
'Come on I speak the truth’, said the ball looking at Juans face. Then it suddenly broke into a kind of a dance, more of a merry vibration type of movement singing 'I speak to thee the truth’. Juan could hear a funny sound coming out of the ball too. It sounded like.......
TRRR........IIIIIIIIIIII......NNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

Juan woke with a start. It was 6:30AM and he was in his hotel room. He switched off the alarm clock by his bed. He couldn’t speak to balls after all. It had all been a dream. Relieved that it was only a crazy dream, he lazily got up to get ready for breakfast. There were other important matters to be addressed in the day. Like the evenings match against England for instance.

TWO
As the kickoff time drew nearer, Juan felt every hair on his body standing on the edge. True, he was an exceptionally talented youngster who had performed phenomenally to help Spain win the Under-17 World Cup in 2004. But now he was up against the 'big boys’. That too unexpectedly. If only Michel had not got injured at this critical juncture. England and Spain were to square off in the last match in their group. Both teams having won their earlier two encounters against Ukraine and South Africa (the other two teams in the group) were level on points. Spain with a superior goal difference needed only a draw to qualify but England desperately needed to win. The team to finish on top would avoid playing Brazil in the second round and it was upon Juan to make sure it was Spain.
'They are playing Owen and Chriser up front I guess', Elanor, the Spanish teams leading striker told Juan at the hotel lobby in the afternoon as they discussed the tactics. The name Chriser conjured up images of the Under-17 World Cup to Juan’s mind. There in the final Spain did beat England 2-1 but Chriser an effervescent, quick and lethal striker had managed to bamboozle Juan once-the only goal he had conceded in 7 games in the competition. All this was just building up the pressure on Juan and all he wanted was the match to start. Somehow he hoped playing the real thing would be less nerve wracking than thinking about it.

[TO BE CONTINUED...]

IPL Pop Quiz 4: The Proverbial Edition!

PROVERBS, they say, distill wisdom into a few easy words. If that’s the case, then we here at Get Sporty have combined the best of two worlds – the proverbs and our easy to understand pop quiz format to test you on some simple life truths at the Indian Proverb..er..Premier League! Get yer pencils out because IPL Pop Quiz 4 is here and as you know the only thing that I dislike more than Income Tax raiders returning empty handed is lack of preparation for a quiz. To the questions!

1. 'A stitch in time saves nine' is a proverb most befitting
A. Lalit Modi and his taxation documentation status
B. Shashi Tharoor (please replace 'stitch' with 'tweet')
C. The injured players at the IPL
D. Hapless viewers addicted to the IPL who should have cancelled their Set Max subscriptions in the first place!
2. Pick out the right proverb in context of KKR
A. 'One swallow doesnt a summer make'
B. 'Two wins in the first two games doesnt an IPL season make'
C. 'Only 5 wins over 12 games doesnt an IPL semi final spot make'
D. 'Just marketing doesn't a cricket franchise make'
E. 'Only an angry outburst doesnt a captain make'
3. Gautam Gambhir has discovered that
A. He who lives in a glass house should not throw stones
B. Only the one who has not sinned should cast the first stone
C. Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me
D. Enough with the stone themed proverbs already!!
4. 'It is the darkest before dawn' is something
A. The Kings XI Punjab would like to believe in
B. Maybe even the Knight Riders would like to believe in
C. SRK knows for sure, since he tweets exactly at that hour!
D. Rubbish! It is darkest during 'Earth Hour'!
5. 2011 and IPL 4..two new franchises...yay..that means
A. The more, the merrier
B. The more, the harrier
C. The more, the scarier
D. The more, the barrier (to eclipse the preeminence of the IPL rises higher)
6. In case of different IPL franchises, which of these holds most true?
A. For the Royals, it ain't over till the fat boy has spun (ref the match between DC v RR)
B. For the RCB, it ain't over till Robbie has had his run (ref the match between RCB v KKR at Bangalore)
C. For the KXIP, it ain't over till CSK is choked and done (ref the match between KXIP v CSK)
D. For KKR, it ain't over till its over, so says the Khan (ref to any of @iamsrk’s tweets)
7. Explain through a 200 essay as to why unsuccessful bidders for the new IPL teams have learnt the significance of the saying 'It is better to have a minority stake of an existing franchise in hand than bid for two entangled in the bush of dodgy paperwork and shady terms and conditions.'

Answers

1. D

2. All of the above!

3. He’s basically discovered that in the IPL everyone is entitled to an opinion, as long as it is the BCCI’s

4. D; ask me, I have bruised my knee on our tea cozy during both ‘Earth Hour’ dates!

5. Oh! The agony of an (seemingly) interminable IPL season

6. Especially and amazingly, A!

7. Anything that contains a comparative trending analysis of @lalitkmodi and @ShashiTharoor’s tweeting patterns is acceptable.

IPL Pop Quiz: The Mongoose Edition

HAVE you been noticing all things IPL lately (come on now, don’t lie!) including cricketing equipment named after animals and commentator IQ levels dropping faster than catches through KKR fielders’ hands? Great, because it is time for the third IPL Pop Quiz of 2010. Get your pencils out because, as you know, the only thing I find more annoying than overvalued cricket franchises is lack of preparation for a quiz. To the questions!

1. Pick out the real statements from the ones below
A. ShashiTharoor: @lalitkmodi buddy, one more smart one and u r blocked. ok?
B. ‘I am only being hypocritical about being arrogant. Oh, wait…I think I’m arrogant about being a hypocrite’ – Gautam Gambhir
C. “People in Chennai just love me. In the first edition when I used to go out biking at night whenever I used to stop in Red Light Areas, they always used to come up to me” – M S Dhoni

2. KKR look like they are doomed to remain the only team in three IPLs not to have made the semis. That would make them feel like
A. The shopper who always misses the juiciest bargains because he was lazy
B. The college kid who’s still remained a virgin while his friends have had plenty of ‘action’
C. The girl who gets picked last at a dance party
D. A kid at a candy store where he’s been left all alone with all the candy under lock and key

3. The most annoying feature of the IPL’s coverage on television
A. Frequent visuals and references to the gaudy MRF Blimp…
B. …which looks like a poor, uneducated country cousin of the Goodyear Blimp…
C. …wherein we should pack in Ravi Shastri, Danny Morrison and co…
D. …and cut the blimp loose!

4. Complete this quote from Sourav Ganguly – “The entire world is watching, the selectors are watching... if they play like this, _____ help their careers”
A. SRK
B. John Buchanan
C. Greg Chappell
D. God

5. What distinction do Virat Kohli and Rohit Sharma share?
A. Both are young, talented and aggressive batsmen while being very agile fielders as well.
B. Both have had the dubious privilege of saying ‘s**t’ on live national television

6. Chris Gayle joined the KKR squad on Saturday, the 20th of March 2010 at Ahmedabad in their game against the Rajasthan Royals. But he did not play that game because
A. The airline lost his luggage and His Coolness found that to be ‘not cool’
B. He had fever
C. Actually, he had Saturday Night Fever

7. Keeping the Kings XI Punjab’s dismal show at IPL 3 and Preity Zinta’s shareholding pattern in the franchise draft a 200 word explanation as to why KXIP is the new KKR.

Answers:
1. C. Don’t believe me? Check it out here!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6c09piYEN0&feature=player_embedded
2. B. Seriously, KKR needs to get its mojo back, i.e. if they had any in the first place!
3. C and D; and once you put Shastri & Co. inside the blimp it will fly off faster since there will be a lot more hot air inside!
4. D
5. Fortunately, A and (very) unfortunately B
6. With Chris, maaan…it gotta be C!
7. Anything that includes references to PZ’s tweeting and her team being a disjointed squad of misfits is acceptable